Friday, 21 March 2014

Work and Motherhood

Things have been a little quiet here on the blog.

I had planned on things being quite the opposite. My husband has been on five weeks Long Service Leave and I had hoped that someone else to watch the kids would mean more time to craft, create and blog. However, whenever he's home during the day I tend to give myself permission to relax a bit. Take the night off from cooking and have a bit of down time - by myself or with the children.

In saying that, we've also had time to tackle some of the big projects on our to do list. The room that will become our home office/library/guest room has finally been painted and the redecorating is slowly taking place. 

It also means that I've had someone to take care of the kids while I've returned to work. Nothing permanent, just a few days of relief teaching here and there (did you know I used to be a teacher?)

It's been quite a challenge- Getting out of bed well before the kids, trying to disguise the bags under my eyes, making sure food supplies are ready for lunches and lunch boxes, engaging in adult conversation and trying to remind myself how to do things like calculate the average velocity of a moving object. Not very conducive to blogging.

It's also been quite enjoyable- see previous comments about adult conversation and using my brain in challenging ways. 

The main thing being back at work has done is made me realise just how lucky I've been to be able to be home with my babies for so long.

It's a very controversial topic, isn't it. The whole Working Mum vs Stay at Home Mum. I hate that. 

If anyone needs a great big cheer squad behind them waving their pom poms madly, it's Mums.

If anyone needs support rather than criticism for every decision they make, it's Mums.

If anyone needs to have someone say "You're doing a great job", it's Mums.
Because whether you work out of home or not, the basic role of being a Mother is the same for all of us- love your babies madly and teach them to be good people.

Breastfeeding, bottle-feeding, co-sleeping, self-settling, Baby Bjorn, Ergo wrap, screen time, outdoor play, child care, grandparent care, disposables, washables... all that really matters is that you choose what works for you and your family.

We've struggled with and/or trialled a lot of different options over 15 and a half years and four children. None of the options are easier. Some have had to be the cheaper option. Others are a pipe dream. Most cause me to worry that I'm making the right decision and a few have even caused me regret.

We mums should be able to have discussions about how we choose to raise our children without fear of judgment. (Obviously, excluding situations of neglect or abuse).

It's hard not to judge, don't get me wrong. I'm working over-time to keep my opinions in check and reminding myself not to judge without knowing the full story.

The older I get, the better I am at this... 

At the end of the day, regardless of who pics them up from school, who changes their nappy and who prepares their evening meal, my boys know they are loved. To the moon and back loved. And that's all that really matters.

Do you struggle with the choices you've had to make as a parent? How hard do you find it to bite your tongue around others who parent differently?

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